Team Advisory Board: What to Say When Your Plate is too Full...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR PLATE IS TOO FULL

WHAT E-TYPES SAY TO I-TYPES WHEN “NO” IS THE RIGHT ANSWER

It’s time for you sensitive Empathizer-type communicators to stop going along to get along with Instigator-type communicators, because when you go along, you’re more likely to fail at delivering positive results. The following directive statements may seem loud, brash, or pushy, but they are simply authentic, effective, and truthful.

Ways to just say no, so strong-willed I-types will understand, and no enemies are made:

#1. I’LL HAVE TO PULL AWAY FROM OTHER PROJECTS TO GET THIS DONE.
This is heard by I-types as a “reality check” and “taking the pulse” of what is wished for vs. what is feasible.

#2. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT ME TO DO THIS IF OTHER THINGS FALL BEHIND?
This is heard by I-types as a challenge to re-check their thinking and priorities and to do a cost-benefit analysis.

#3. I THINK THAT’S TOO MUCH TO ASK OF ONE PERSON.
This is heard by I-types as a genuine statement of how much work is unfairly falling on the shoulders of one person. I-types know it’s not fair to assign all the work to a single workhorse in the organization.

#4. I’M FEELING LIKE I’M OUT HERE ALONE.
This is heard by I-types as a report that you are stretched to the limit and need to be emotionally honest without belly-aching.

#5. I NEED TO TELL YOU WHAT I NEED/EXPECT FROM YOU IN RETURN.
This is heard by I-types as a form of negotiation to iron out the details. It’s a form of record-keeping.

#6. I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO DO IT ALL.
This is not heard as complaining by I-types but is instead perceived as a call for back-up.

#7. THE RIGHT ANSWER IS NO, BUT I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN SAY THAT.
I-types respect when you are right on the mark to take more self-responsibility for your own happiness and well-being.

#8. DON’T MAKE THINGS MORE COMPLICATED THAN THEY HAVE TO BE.
I-types hear this as a warning to keep the big picture in mind, not get cocky, and make small corrections in the flight course to arrive at the goal destination.

#9. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.
This is heard by I-types as a direct confrontation that they are not up to speed or do not have the necessary information to make the proper decision. They will want to understand what’s wrong and not working right.

#10. I NEED HELP TO DO THIS.
This isn’t heard by I-types as a weakness, but as a warning that special conditions exist and need to be addressed to make the desired results and outcomes happen on timeline.

11. THIS MAY BE ROUGH AND THERE WILL LIKELY BE MISTAKES.
I-types like to be in control of the process. They don’t mind mistakes as much as they dislike being caught off guard by bad news that comes seemingly out of the blue.

#12. WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
This alerts I-types to expect trouble in this project, such as unexpected delays or difficult financial choices.