Team Advisory Committee: The Math of Success

Dr. Dennis O'Grady

The formula for success is one you didn’t learn in high school math class, but operates in everyday life. The Success Equation: Positive + Communication = PROFIT. The Failure Equation: Negative - Communication = LOSS. Is it really so simple? Yes—and savagely profound. Your life’s Profit and Loss calculations rely on how you choose to do the math.


YOUR LIFE: PROFIT OR LOSS?

You can expect these PROFITS as a company, couple, or family when you choose to use empowering, Positive (+) Communication Tools:

+ Team and individual empowerment

+ Productive, positive teamwork

+ Boosted confidence

+ Bridges of trust and respect

+ Mood-boosted opportunities

It’s your choice: which one of these payoffs will you add to your life today?


WHAT IS POSITIVE COMMUNICATION?

When using Positive (+) Communication Tools, your words and deeds will transform your reputation and be perceived as:

+ Motivational

+ Informational

+ Intelligent

+ Open

+ Detailed

+ Inspirational

+ Collaborative

+ Clear and concise

+ Goal Oriented

+ Purposeful

+ Confident

+ Mindful of the effect of your good moods on everyone around you

WHAT IS NEGATIVE COMMUNICATION?

When using Negative (-) Communication Tools, your words and deeds will soil your reputation and be perceived as:

Avoidant of people and issues

Dismissive or condescending

Of a negative Ned or Nellie

Out of control (e.g., yelling or screaming)

Profane and inappropriate

Abusive of power (e.g., calling people out in a crowd)

Gossip: Talking about others behind their backs

Smokescreen: Disguising the real issue

Stonewalling: Not communicating at all

It’s your choice: which one of these losses will you subtract from your life today?

EXPECTATION CRASHES AND COMMUNICATION LOSSES


You can expect these LOSSES as a company, couple, or family when you choose to use debilitating, Negative (-) Communication Tools:


- Bad (Angry) moods and heightened drama

- Good people leave—High turnover due to motivation stagnation

- Financial costs for training

- Fear in the workplace or home

- Low morale

- Good ideas dying on the vine

- Loss of productivity (40–70%)

- Nihilistic attitudes

- Damage to image of trust and respect

- Damaged reputation for reliability

- You can either be right or have friends


Sure as a soda loses its carbonation or the sun sets in the west, you can calculate these predictable outcomes by using positive or negative communicator math.

THE ONLY WAY TO BE HEALED IS TO BE IN TOUCH WITH WHAT'S REAL

Hiding behind a castle's high stone walls or wearing rose colored glasses is The Math of Loss. Although you may be a legend in your own mind, your life losses will ultimately pile high. The choice is yours, so choose to be a Reality Responder rather than live in "ME Reality." Become a brave Empathizer or Instigator leader who chooses to use The Math of Success to communicate positively, accurately, honestly, humbly, and lovingly, every single day

Team Advisory Commitee:When I Get Around To "It"

When I Get Around To It"

If you use different excuses on different days, you’ll likely be able to get away with quite a lot—until it catches up with you. My favorite excuse is, "I'll do it when I can get around to it." How do you like that for a vague promise that lacks any concrete time limit or expiration date? Rationalizations and statements such as these will certainly put people off. As a reminder, I carry my “round TUIT” wooden token in my pocket. Now that I have a round TUIT, I can get around to it!

Here's the menu of common excuses:

• I don't have time to do it
• I'm too old/young to do it
• I'm not in the mood to do it
• I don't know how to do it
• I'll do it later
• They'll get mad at me if I do it
• I'm too unhappy/nervous to do it
• I'm too shy to do it
• I'm not a good enough communicator to do it
• I'm a procrastinator
• I don't want to try it and fail
• It's not my job to do it
• I'm too tired to do it
• I can't afford to do it
• I don't have the experience/credentials/degrees to do it
• The economy is too bad/risky
• What will other people think?
• My family/kids/husband/wife won't approve
• I'll do it when I get around to it

WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR LIFE

Making changes in your life is not about achieving instant perfection, but taking steps toward a more positive end. By constantly trying to rationalize why you can’t do something (or will…when you get around TUIT), you’ll have little chance of improving your life. What your life is ultimately about is self-improvement, which you can accomplish every, single day.

So, when will you get around to it?

There’s no time like the present.

Dr. Dennis O'Grady

Team Advisory Board: What to Say When Your Plate is too Full...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR PLATE IS TOO FULL

WHAT E-TYPES SAY TO I-TYPES WHEN “NO” IS THE RIGHT ANSWER

It’s time for you sensitive Empathizer-type communicators to stop going along to get along with Instigator-type communicators, because when you go along, you’re more likely to fail at delivering positive results. The following directive statements may seem loud, brash, or pushy, but they are simply authentic, effective, and truthful.

Ways to just say no, so strong-willed I-types will understand, and no enemies are made:

#1. I’LL HAVE TO PULL AWAY FROM OTHER PROJECTS TO GET THIS DONE.
This is heard by I-types as a “reality check” and “taking the pulse” of what is wished for vs. what is feasible.

#2. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT ME TO DO THIS IF OTHER THINGS FALL BEHIND?
This is heard by I-types as a challenge to re-check their thinking and priorities and to do a cost-benefit analysis.

#3. I THINK THAT’S TOO MUCH TO ASK OF ONE PERSON.
This is heard by I-types as a genuine statement of how much work is unfairly falling on the shoulders of one person. I-types know it’s not fair to assign all the work to a single workhorse in the organization.

#4. I’M FEELING LIKE I’M OUT HERE ALONE.
This is heard by I-types as a report that you are stretched to the limit and need to be emotionally honest without belly-aching.

#5. I NEED TO TELL YOU WHAT I NEED/EXPECT FROM YOU IN RETURN.
This is heard by I-types as a form of negotiation to iron out the details. It’s a form of record-keeping.

#6. I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO DO IT ALL.
This is not heard as complaining by I-types but is instead perceived as a call for back-up.

#7. THE RIGHT ANSWER IS NO, BUT I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN SAY THAT.
I-types respect when you are right on the mark to take more self-responsibility for your own happiness and well-being.

#8. DON’T MAKE THINGS MORE COMPLICATED THAN THEY HAVE TO BE.
I-types hear this as a warning to keep the big picture in mind, not get cocky, and make small corrections in the flight course to arrive at the goal destination.

#9. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.
This is heard by I-types as a direct confrontation that they are not up to speed or do not have the necessary information to make the proper decision. They will want to understand what’s wrong and not working right.

#10. I NEED HELP TO DO THIS.
This isn’t heard by I-types as a weakness, but as a warning that special conditions exist and need to be addressed to make the desired results and outcomes happen on timeline.

11. THIS MAY BE ROUGH AND THERE WILL LIKELY BE MISTAKES.
I-types like to be in control of the process. They don’t mind mistakes as much as they dislike being caught off guard by bad news that comes seemingly out of the blue.

#12. WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
This alerts I-types to expect trouble in this project, such as unexpected delays or difficult financial choices.

Team Wellness Advisory Board: Excessive Self-Esteem

Dr. Dennis O'Grady

Excessively confident people can tone down their act.

Don’t envy or get angry with those suffering from ESE. Fear and sadness have been out of their control for some time. ESE’s must learn they don’t have to deny tender feelings or be a pillar of strength for everyone.

Changing excessive self-esteem into high self-esteem is harder than raising low self-esteem, so don’t feel awful when your self-esteem is in the pits – the alternative is even worse!



Ways for ESE’s to grow and change:

Change before you lose out BIG time.

To Be Successful: Chances are you don’t know what people really think. You may not know someone as much as you’d like to think you do. Take interest in opinions other than your own.Ask for Negative Feedback: Begin to care how people think and feel.

Listen to negative feedback.
To Be Successful: Find out what grudges people are carrying toward you. Listen to even small gripes. Don’t isolate yourself from negative feedback through intimidation. Take Pride in Being Wrong: Care to know what people expect from you.

Embrace your own weaknesses.

To Be Successful: Stop defending your weaknesses. Your strengths have less to teach you than do your weaknesses. Make Your Relationships Really Matter: Weaknesses do not make a human being bad.

Stop living in a bubble.

To Be Successful: Stop protecting yourself with money, power, or status. Nurturing who you are is more important. Expose Yourself to Opinions Different from Your Own: Let yourself be stroked for your genuine self, not your status.

Stop pushing people away to prove a point.

To Be Successful: Is being right more important than being loved? Never. Pull people toward you.
Be Vulnerable: Winning isn’t anything compared to warm attachments.

Face your fears of intimacy.

To Be Successful: Intimacy means receiving a part of another human being and gifting that person, in turn, with a part of yourself. Face your fears of being hurt by intimacy. Be Interdependent: Stop being so high and mighty and start trusting and depending on others.

Let your sensitivity and caring show through.

To Be Successful: Sure, you’re tough, but softness will get you where you want to go. Balancing the two is best and will provide you with insight and intuition. Be Emotionally Balanced: Begin to express your sad feelings in small ways.

Face your underlying depression.

To Be Successful: Stop being a fanatic about work, fun, or success – lead a more balanced life. You are strong enough to stand up to depressive feelings. Be a Genuine Human Being: Focus on allowing yourself to experience a full range of feelings instead of just the good feelings.


Join a group where your status is unknown.

To Be Successful: Attend events where you are unknown and don’t say what you do for a living. Be a small fish in a big pond. Be Grateful: Enjoy finding out how you come across as a person.


Stop missing the glory of your past successes.

To Be Successful: Learn to be self-accepting when you aren’t a big star. Help support the successes of others more. Be a Team Player: Humility is superior to greatness.

Get therapy even when you don’t need to.

To Be Successful: Hire a therapist who is not intimated by you. Unblock yourself and become a caring human being. Be a Good Listener: Praise people. Take your future back into your own hands.

Being a superior human being means being open intellectually and emotionally. Learn to be genuine and vulnerable.