Concrete Ways to Conquer Negative Emotions
Dr. Dennis O'Grady
Don’t believe all those complainers who say change is impossible. Keep one change rule in mind: Any negative frustration is alterable!
Learn to conquer any negative emotion or person by keeping these change pointers in mind:
1. Assume that low self-esteem is alterable
The Change Rule: Low self-esteem is not a permanent state.
Just be Yourself: Work on your self-esteem daily. Set boundaries around your self-esteem to avoid being drained by displeasers. Learn to take your own good advice.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Force yourself to think clearly when you are upset. Use brainstorming methods to keep an open attitude.
2. Use responsible anger for motivation
The Change Rule: Change yourself first and others never.
Keep an Open Attitude: Make your anger a friend, not an enemy. Stop pounding yourself down when you mess up. Take positive actions to raise your self-worth.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Use assertiveness skills. Be giving to a preset point, and then stop.
3. Embrace negative emotions to learn from them
The Change Rule: Change what you complain about most.
Change More Than You Complain: You are stronger than any negative emotion that tries to weaken you. Put your mood back under your own direct control.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Use self-reflection. Don’t let complainers dump their negative emotions on you.
4. Laugh at yourself in healthy ways
The Change Rule: Challenge self-criticism to fight the universal fear of change.
Love the Child Inside of You: Be serious about change, but take time to laugh along the way. Unload your burdens through laughter.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Use humor to reduce stress. Use self-permissions to challenge and replace self-criticisms.
5. Learn as quickly as you can from your mistakes
The Change Rule: Your choices are your own to make.
Accept Positive Strokes but Never Accept Failure: Remember, if you aren’t failing at least daily, then you aren’t really succeeding. Change is inevitably a stair step, up-and-down phenomenon.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Use trial-and-error learning.
6. Forestall collecting resentments
The Change Rule: Make some new independent choices to reduce resentment.
Please Yourself Free of Guilt: make new choices that are pleasing to your self-esteem. To remove resentments, figure out what game difficult people are playing. Solve problems instead of taking them on or passing them along.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Use goals in every area of your life. Review your goals when you feel unhappy.
7. Indulge rarely in spiteful actions
The Change Rule: The fastest route to a destination of success is to stop engaging in revenge paybacks.
Focus on Success by Using Goals: Use positive strokes, but don’t be a sucker. Stand up for yourself instead of expending so much energy trying to get even. Take a more forceful stand after much thought, and only after alternative strategies have failed.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Use positive paybacks.
8. Address childhood wounds that still cripple you
The Change Rule: You can choose to act differently today than you have in the past.
Utilize Good Advice: God has stacked the deck in your favor. Old ideas about how worthless or bad you are can be replaced. You are allowed to make new choices at any time across the board.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Replace negative beliefs with positive behaviors.
9. Go after what you want without excuse or delay
The Change Rule: You can take positive action in spite of fear.
Fear the Status Quo: Put an end to waiting. Don’t delay – do it today! You can take positive action on your own behalf in spite of feeling negative. Change means you don’t wait to feel good to take practical action.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Use self-change, goal setting, time saving, and leadership strategies to conquer the fear of change.
10. Don’t blame the opposite sex for your problems
The Change Rule: Every form of blame impedes change.
Learn to Respect Differences: Psychological problems are about the same between both sexes. The major reason changes fail is blame. Stop using the opposite sex as a whipping post.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Use good listening skills.
11. Be willing to engage in constructive conflict
The Change Rule: Healthy conflict and disagreement protect prized relationships.
Abide by Fair-Fight Rules: Change means antagonists talk out problems to fill in loneliness with love. Constructive conflict is the best way to keep all of your relationships strong, growing, and interesting.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Use fair-fighting techniques.
12. Nurture your strengths and relationships
The Change Rule: You must own up to your unique talents and secret strengths or risk being controlled by them.
Give Thanks for Strengths: Can you care for yourself when you have been unfairly rejected? Accept yourself. Give yourself more positive strokes than you know what to do with, and give good strokes to people who truly care for you.
The Change Rule: Only you can grant yourself the freedom to be who you are.
Dare to Be Self-Approving: Negative people will keep you so confused that you won’t be able to stay on the right track. Don’t spend your life trying to change people who claim they don’t have a problem. Change means saying good-bye to people who mess up your life and then saying hello to new opportunities.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Value achievement and intimacy equally.
The Change Rule: Keep stoking your strengths to be successful.
Just Be Yourself: When you see no hope, get up, and keep going. Choose to admire who you are right now, even though you are incomplete and vulnerable. You may not be able to change negative people, but you can control your attitude when you have to be around them.
To Conquer Negative Emotions: Use anything that works!
No comments:
Post a Comment