Team Advisory Committee: Team Leader Training

Dr. Dennis O'Grady
Wellness Advisory Committee Member

TO FIGHT STRESS, CHANGE COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES!

Maintaining a positive attitude is a challenge for all of us who face stress – in other words, all of us. How can we keep a positive attitude toward making changes to reduce stress, especially when change itself is so stressful? How do we keep alert for new solutions to old problems? Try the suggestions below to help maintain a positive attitude and beat stress.

EXPERT COMMUNICATORS

Expert communicators, regardless of communicator style, Empathizer or Instigator, steer clear of using these negative words when talking about change:

- "Yes, but …." These words often are used to dispel good advice that could propel us to new heights.

- "I can't." This devious incantation says that setting out to reach far-off goals is a waste of our precious time.

- "Why even try?" It's common to face unexpected feelings of sadness when we find out how difficult change can be.

- "Why should I…?" This is an old standby – our teenagers' rebuttal to critical parents who say, "Do as I say, not as I do." The teens' response means, "You don't practice what you preach, so why should I?"

EXPERTS USE STRENGTHS

Change experts foster attitudes and communication strategies for keeping a mind open to change.

Experts use their strengths and those of their opposite communicator type to…

→ create new options. They recognize that happiness comes from making meaningful choices that empower us.

→ use a close inner circle of advisers who give them blunt and honest opinions. Because they are good communicators, they listen when their advisers strongly disagree with them, and they don't flinch when they hear that they might be wrong. They understand that sound decisions come from shared wisdom.

→ make their emotional attachments matter. They value marriage, children, cooperative work relationships, and friendships.

→ explain but don't defend their opinions. They think about conflict issues and take a public stand. They share their perceptions assertively without putting others on the defensive

→ promote closeness and avoid crises in relationships – game-playing is a waste of time. Their motto: analyze yourself first and blame others last. The Blame Game is lame.

→ operate from their strengths instead of their weaknesses. Experts aren't afraid to tap and utilize their secret strengths as well as those of their talk partner.

→ accept that they cannot control what others think or do. They stop trying to gain the conditional approval of critics who manipulate them by withholding praise.

→ prefer to give more than they take, and they always give a little extra along the way. They like being around people who make them feel worthwhile.

→ are positive people … to a point.

→ don't blame their present behavior on the past.

→ give permission and affirmations to convey encouraging messages instead of punitive ones.
→ don't require life to be easy, pain-free, and predictable, and they accept that learning new skills requires periods of time and sustained effort.

→ know that accepting reality is better than twisting it.

→ strive to learn something new from every frustrating situation.

POSITIVE PEOPLE AREN'T WEAK

Positive people aren't weak people who are easily taken advantage of. We are people who are committed to building a sense of belonging, self-growth, and high self-esteem in ourselves and in those we touch.