Team Wellness Advisory Committee: Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem is Loving to Learn and Learning to Love Yourself

Adopting a positive attitude toward change means you fall in love with learning new things instead of bemoaning the fact that you don’t know everything. Self-esteem is falling in love with learning and learning to be more loving toward yourself.

You can’t love life if you are busy resisting this changing world. Neither can you learn to love new aspects of your personality if you put your strengths into a tightly sealed little box. Changing means you feel free to open yourself up to being loved for who you are.

Don’t be fooled, though, because developing high self-esteem is hard work. Facing yourself in a mirror of self-reflection is the toughest work you will ever be called upon to do…but you’re up to the challenge. To be happy, learn to look long and hard at yourself in the revealing mirror of self-esteem.

Self-esteem is earned step-by-step, day-by-day in a myriad of little ways. It means taking great advice and running with it. It means squeezing positive strokes out of every stone thrown your way. It means refusing to stay down for long after you experience a failure.

How’s your self-esteem been lately? Self-esteem is your feeling of belonging to the world, including the essential right for good things to happen in your life.

The Self-Esteem Quiz

Take the following quiz to determine the level of your self-esteem at this moment.

True or False

	1. When people are successful, they become less stressed.
	2.0People enjoy being happy and satisfied.
	3. People who brag are really insecure.
	4. Parents are to blame for low self-esteem in their children.
	5. Women feel as successful as men these days.
	6. Men and women typically depend mostly on their spouses or significant others as their support systems and confidence-boosters.
	7. Good friendships are secondary for high self-esteem
	8. Tactful criticism usually motivates people.
	9. People with high self-esteem are more outgoing and extroverted.
	10. Studies show that 65% of Americans are completely satisfied with their self-esteem.

Answers and Discussions

1. False	Success adds many new life stressors to cope with, and stress weakens self-esteem.
2. False	Although many people enjoy being happy, anxiety may lead you to think, “Oh, this is just too good to be true,” or, “This is never going to last.”
3. False	Being honest about your strengths and your weaknesses is an assertive declaration of independence.
4. False	Many forces shape the child, and to blame low self-esteem on parents reduces parental pride.
5. False	Studies show that women are more apt to ascribe their work success to luck, while men view their work success as a result of hard work or talent.
6. False	Men typically receive support only from their wives, while women receive reassurance from several sources other than their husbands.
7. False	Good friendships are now considered on equal par to a good marriage in helping you feel worthwhile and whole.
8. False	Many of us experience criticism as outright ego-deflating, non-motivating, and as an unneeded roadblock to positive change.
9. False	People with high self-esteem report a greater need for privacy, reflection, and solitude.
10. False	Studies show the reverse. 65% of Americans are dissatisfied with their current level of self-esteem and wish they could feel better about themselves.

Use this quiz at the dinner table as a family discussion tool to raise self-esteem. Ask your children what goals they have set to increase their self-confidence. Ask your spouse what types of strokes make him or her feel good, and encourage your own talents to shine in the world.

Self-esteem is a learned skill that you must work for daily. Effort spent improving your self-esteem today will pay handsome dividends tomorrow as your sense of well-being increases.